


A Case Of Mistaken Identity

by okaybutlikewhy



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, Just bros being toads
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-02
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-11-07 23:18:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17969939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/okaybutlikewhy/pseuds/okaybutlikewhy
Summary: "Percival," Arthur said slowly, "Did you just...stepon Gwaine."In which Gwaine is turned into a toad, the knights make a mistake and Merlin cries. Not crack, but pretty close to it.





	A Case Of Mistaken Identity

It began, as most things do, with a sorcerer. It ended, as most things certainly did _not_ , with Merlin struggling to keep a hold of a slimy toad that not four hours before he was calling his friend.

A run in with a sorcerer on patrol had ended ugly, with the knights retreating after the witch brought the toad into their midst. A toad that used to be Gwaine. For hours they had walked on foot (their horses had long been spooked off), trying to get enough ground between them and the sorcerer so that they could regroup. And, of course, it had fallen upon Merlin to carry the toad. The damp, hideous, _squirming_ toad that Merlin could barely stand to look at, much less grasp desperately at with both hands.

"I don't see why he's so desperate to escape." Lancelot said curiously, observing Merlin's attempts at keeping the toad in line as Percival and Elyan set a fire at their makeshift campground. "You would think he'd realise its for the best that he stays with us, so that we can bring him back to normal."

"Maybe he's embarrassed." Arthur suggested. "I certainly would be, appearing that ugly."

"I'd think you'd be used to it, sire." Merlin quipped and Arthur rolled his eyes.

"How about we save the jokes for when one of us _isn't_ in a life or death situation, okay Merlin?"

Merlin was tempted to point out that being a toad was hardly life or death, but a sudden desperate attempt of freedom from the amphibious beast took his attention before he could. He swore to himself as his fingers brushed up against a particularly ugly looking wart, and hoped that Gaius would be able to make sure they wouldn't spread. Arthur sighed.

"At least _try_ to keep a hold of him, Merlin. We don't want one of our best knights lost in the forest looking like this. He probably can't even wield a sword in this state."

Merlin raised an eyebrow. " _Probably_?"

Momentarily distracted by the image of toad!Gwaine fighting off bandits with a sword, Merlin failed to notice the creature getting ready for another wild buck, allowing Gwaine to slip from his hands, breathe in th rich scent of freedom, and make a break for it towards the treeline...

...directly into the path of Percival.

There was a sickening crunch. Then, a sudden, suffocating silence.

"Percival," Arthur said slowly, "Did you just... _step_ on Gwaine."

Percival was paralyzed, eyes wide and mouth gaping. Slowly, as if afraid any movement would make the situation worse, he moved his gaze downwards, towards the scene of the crime. The moment he laid his eyes on the poor toad, barely mush under the large man's leather boot, he winced and averted his eyes.

He swallowed thickly, looking determinedly up into the branches of a nearby tree. "I think I did, sire."

Elyan whimpered.

Still moving at a snail's pace, the shock disagreeing with any sudden movements, Arthur turned towards his manservant. " _Mer_ lin." He hissed, beyond the point of frustration. "Did you just _kill_ Sir Gwaine?"

Merlin was a shade paler than the moon, bony hands clasped over his mouth. He met Arthur's gaze, eyes horrified. "Oh my god." He breathed behind his hands. "I just killed Gwaine."

The frozen atmosphere erupted into chaos.

"I didn't mean to!" Merlin was stuttering, more to himself than anyone else. "He was just- he wouldn't stop moving! And he's so slippery!"

"How was this Merlin's fault?" Lancelot demanded. "Percival was the one to step on him."

"I was the one to step on him." Percival repeated softly, traumatised. "I stepped on Gwaine."

"Merlin dropped him!" Arthur cried, throwing his hands in the air with a frustrated cry. "How hard is it to hold a bloody _toad_?"

Elyan moaned, hands on his head, eyes glued on the undignified corpse of his friend. "Oh god."

"I didn't mean to!" Merlin cried again, tears springing to his eyes. "Oh, _Gwaine_."

"This isn't your fault-" Lancelot assured him.

"I killed Gwaine." Percival moaned. "My friend."

"It's not yours either, Perc." Lancelot placed a comforting hand on the larger man's shoulder. "It was an accident."

Percival stared at him. "How? He's under my boot!" He cried incredulously. 

"Well then lift up your bloody foot!" Arthur ordered, as if the thought had just occurred to him. He fell to his knees beside Percival's leg. "Maybe he's still alive."

Percival complied, shuddering at the horrible squelching sound that accompanied the movement. Lancelot's grip on his friend's shoulder grew tighter, the smaller knight looking queasy.

"He's mush." Elyan whispered, watching in horror as the gel-like remains of Gwaine's innards stuck to the sole of Percival's boot. "He's _paste_."

"I think I'm going to vomit." Said Merlin. "Or faint. Or maybe both."

"I don't think he's alive." Said Percival, voice as thick as Gwaine's organs.

Arthur, having had the pleasure of being close and personal with the sight, nodded. He didn't attempt to speak.

"What an undignified end." Leon said softly, and Merlin glared at him. 

" _That's_ what you're worried about?"

"I only mean...it's not right. He should have gone out in battle."

"In a bar fight." Arthur said, voice layered with dry mirth. 

Leon nodded. 

"Should I..." Percival hesitated. "Should I wipe it - I mean, uh, him - should I wipe him off my shoe?"

There was an uncomfortable silence. 

"Just," Percival hastened to add, "I don't know whether smearing my brother in arms all across the forest floor is...you know, respectful."

"And wiping him off like mud is?" Arthur sniped, though there was no venom behind it. Only defeat. 

"Gods..." Elyan seemed to have finally come to terms with the situation, and had his head resting in his palms. "How did it come to this? Why is this a debate we're having?"

"You should take off your shoe." Leon suggested. "We can take him back to Camelot, and he can have a proper burial." 

"Who's having a proper burial?" A voice came from the edge of the clearing, concern evident in the tone. "Who died?"

And there, barely recognisable through layers of thick green sludge, cape torn and sullied but hair sitting perfectly, untouched, was Gwaine.

Merlin made a sound that was half cry of relief, half choked sob, and dashed across the clearing to embrace his friend. Percival was just a few steps behind, wrapping his arms around the both of them. Gwaine stumbled backwards, but accepted the physical contact, albeit in obvious discomfort. "It's nice to see you all too, but this sludge smells of rotting carcasses, so I recommend you let me go."

They did, unwillingly.

Gwaine turned to the rest of the group, his questions dying on his lips as he faced them. Arthur's sword was drawn, pointed purposefully at a distance far too close to Gwaine's throat for comfort, and behind him Leon had followed suit. Lancelot's hand rested on his hilt, but he did not attempt to unsheath the weapon. Elyan appeared to be in shock.

"It is a bold move," Lancelot grimaced, "to impersonate a dead brother."

"I...what?"

Merlin shook his head. "No, this is Gwaine. I can feel it."

"Gwaine is dead." Arthur said warily.

"No I'm not." Gwaine protested.

"Yes, he is. We have his body."

"Where?"

Arthur gestured to the toad paste with his head, taking care to not let his sword waver. Gwaine followed the action, his gaze falling upon the sorry sight. He blinked. "That's a toad."

"Gwaine is a toad."

Gwaine's brow furrowed. "Well that's just uncalled for."

"He means," Lancelot said patiently, "That our friend was turned into a toad by a sorcerer. We witnessed it."

"She didn't turn me into a toad; just sent me to the middle of a swamp an hour or so over. Lucky you lot set a fire, or else I'd have been wandering for days."

"A swamp?" Merlin asked, interest piqued. "Like, where you'd find a toad?"

"I suppose?'

Merlin turned to his companions. "You all realise what this means, right?"

Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Enlighten us."

"Gwaine wasn't turned into a toad."

"Of course I wasn't." Gwaine sniffed. "That's disgusting."

"But we saw it." Arthur dismissed. "My eyes do not deceive me."

"God you're thick." Merlin huffed. "He wasn't turned into a toad; he just switched places with one. Which means Gwaine is alive, the witch isn't nearly as powerful as we thought, and you lot had me carrying some plain old swamp toad for hours!"

Leon lowered his sword with an "Oh", and after a brief hesitation Arthur followed suit. Lancelot relaxed. Gwaine still looked confused. "Wait a minute, if you lot thought I was that toad then why is it dead?"

"Percival stepped on it." Lancelot answered easily, and the larger man winced. Gwaine turned to him, betrayal clear on his face. 

"Perc? I thought we were friends." 

"We are!" Percival spluttered. "It was an accident!"

"How do you _accidently_ step on your friend?"

"Very easily, if you're built like a troll." Elyan answered, a faint smile tugging at his lips now that the horror was over. Percival scoffed, and whacked him lightly over the back of his head.

"Careful now," Merlin warned, "that's _Arthur's_ move."

And that particular incident was never spoken of again.


End file.
